Family members and friends taking care of children often struggle to access benefits and resources.
By Kelly Burch, Granite State News Collaborative
Tawna Fisher, of Unity, never imagined that she’d have a four-year-old son when she was 54.
Tawna Fisher with her son, Gabe. Fisher recently founded a nonprofit for other kinship caregivers. (Courtesy of Tawna Fisher)
Her own biological children are well into their 30s and have their own kids. But when her niece got pregnant, Fisher knew she would struggle to take care of a child. When the baby was just three weeks old, his pediatrician called the Division for Children, Youth and Families (DCYF), concerned that the baby’s biological mother was not feeding him.
That’s when Fisher formally took guardianship of Gabe, the boy she now considers her son.
"We assumed he would go back to [his biological mother] when she got situated,” Fisher said. “But it became clear she wasn’t going to do what she needed to.”
Instead, Fisher and her husband became one of approximately 23,000 kinship placements in New Hampshire. These are family members or friends stepping in to raise children when their biological parents are unable to, often in informal arrangements.
“Most kinship care that occurs in the state is not through DCYF,” said DCYF director Joe Ribsam. "It’s decisions that are made by families.”
The family members provide a valuable service by keeping children connected to their roots, and diverting children who otherwise may be in foster care. But because there is often no state involvement, kinship caregivers have fewer supports than foster parents. That can leave caregivers like Fisher feeling like their families have fallen through the cracks.
“We had no support for anything,” she said. “We assumed we’d get help.”
Creating a support network
Jenna Cullinane, of Chester, took custody of her nephew right out of the hospital. Last year she and her husband adopted Grayson, who is now three. The process was long and difficult, but because Grayson had a case with DCYF, Cullinane continues to get support while raising him, including medical insurance.
That’s a rarity among kinship placements.
“When there’s a state intervention through DCYF and a child is formally removed, they have access to a whole range of services, from economic support to case management,” said Joelyn Drennan, senior director of programs for the New Hampshire Children’s Trust, a child abuse prevention agency. “When a family steps in and it’s informal, or they seek guardianship, they don’t have those same supports.”
Now, a collaborative program in the state is aiming to increase support for families like Fisher’s. The Kinship Navigation Program is a partnership between the New Hampshire Children’s Trust and the state’s network of family resource centers. It’s funded by $1.3 million from the Department of Health and Human Services, including $1 million from the Overdose Data to Action Grant. Substance abuse is the reason for 74 percent of kinship placements in the state, Drennan said.
The program, which began in 2020, provides emotional, economic and legal support to families, Drennan said. The crux of the program is the more than 25 kinship navigators who work at family resource centers throughout the state.
Margaret Nelson, executive director at the River Center Family and Community Resource Center in Peterborough, said kinship caregivers face immense challenges. There are immediate practical needs, like beds, clothes and car seats for children who often arrive with nothing. Then, there are logistical issues of being able to communicate with a child’s school and doctor. Finally, there’s an emotional component, especially for grandparents, who often feel isolated.
“If you’re in your late 60’s and you’re bringing a five-year-old to the first day of kindergarten, you’re probably several decades older than anyone else in the room,” she said.
The Kinship Navigator Program helps caregivers wade through these needs. The program offers support groups, legal assistance, essential items, guidance and, in some cases, short-term cash assistance for immediate needs like fuel or food. Since it began, the program has served 645 families, with 394 currently enrolled or awaiting intake, Drennan said.
Oftentimes, helping these unconventional families involves unconventional thinking, said Mandy Carter, a kinship navigator at the River Center. She recently helped a grandmother who worried that she wouldn’t be home from work by the time her granddaughter returned from school. Carter connected the woman with technology that let her track her granddaughter’s walk home and see that she had arrived safely. That type of solution might be second nature to a parent in their 30s, but foreign to a person in their 60s or 70s.
“Trying to navigate today’s world with yesterday’s world can be difficult,” said Carter, who was raised by her own grandmother until she was 10.
Carter said many kinship caregivers are apprehensive about the program, because they’ve struggled for so long to get help unsuccessfully. Recently, a grandmother came up to Carter at a school event where Carter was raising awareness about the program. She was skeptical that Carter could help. But as they talked, “I could hear her getting a little more hope and a little more hope,” Carter said.
Tina Miller with her husband, two biological sons, and the three children she’s raising through kinship care. The Kinship Navigator Program is helping the family cover the cost of adopting their children. (Photo credit: Chelsea Boutin/K.Rae Collections)
Adrift in the same ocean
Shannon Lavertu is the kinship navigator at the Family Resource Center of Northern New Hampshire in Gorham. Like many navigators, she’s also a kinship caregiver. Lavertu draws on her experience raising her grandnephews, who are 15 and 7, when she counsels other families.
“I won’t say I’m in the same boat as you, because we all have different boats, but I’m definitely in that ocean,” Lavertu said.
Lavertu has had guardianship of the boys for about five years. She knows firsthand the frustrations that kinship caregivers have in accessing resources, particularly if there is not an ongoing DCYF case.
“When DCYF is not involved there’s not a lot of answers,” she said. “You can ask questions, but you’re not going to get an answer.”
But now, she’s able to provide some of the guidance she wishes she had.
“I say, ‘Let me be your bridge. Let me get you to those services,’” she said.
Being a kinship caregiver is uniquely taxing, said the River Center’s Nelson. Not only are most kinship care providers older, but they’re also navigating extremely complex family relationships.
“You’re dealing with the grandparents wondering ‘where did I go wrong that my child can’t parent their own children?’” she said.
Having navigators who understand those emotions creates a safe space, said Lavertu.
Lisa Marro, of Woodsville, has adopted 11 children. She always has compassion for their biological parents, but now that she’s raising her grandchild she finds she’s less forgiving toward her daughter.
"I hold her to a higher standard because she’s my daughter,” Marro said.
At the same time, she feels for her daughter. Her granddaughter often slips into calling her “Mom,” but Marro ignores that if her daughter — the girl’s biological mother — is within earshot, because she knows it’s difficult for her to hear.
“It’s much more complicated,” she said. “We would have been empty nesters, in a different life. Instead we’re raising the second gen.”
Tina Miller with her husband and the three children they are seeking to adopt. The kids have been living with the Millers for more than three years. (Photo credit: Chelsea Boutin/K.Rae Collections)
Support for fictive kin
Three years ago, Tina Miller, of Littleton, took in the three children of her son’s ex-girlfriend’s sister. Miller is what’s known as fictive kin — a kinship placement that doesn’t have a biological connection.
These placements have long received the least amount of support because of policies at the state and federal level.
“Fictive kinship, they get absolutely nothing,” said Lavertu.
Foster parents working with DCYF receive a stipend that adds up to hundreds of dollars a month, said Ribsam. Kinship placements without DCYF involvement aren’t eligible for that, but the child they’re taking care of often qualifies for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) benefits. But if there’s no biological relation to the caregiver the child doesn’t qualify for TANF because of quirks in federal policy, Ribsam said.
“There’s every reason in the world they should get this benefit, but they’re just not eligible for it,” he said. “That’s a big gap.”
In June, the state passed legislation as part of SB430 to expand the definition of kinship placements to include fictive kin, said Ribsam. The changes, which he expects to take effect next year, will expand resources for fictive kin placements within DCYF. But it won’t affect the majority of cases, like Miller’s, where the state is not involved, Ribsam said.
That’s frustrating for Miller, who certainly felt the financial impact of taking on three children at the time when she thought she’d be getting ready to retire.
“We receive no benefits. No child support. No help of any kind,” she said. “We’re the sole providers for these children.”
The Kinship Navigator Program is the one place she’s found support. The program has helped cover the lawyer fees for Miller and her husband to move forward with adopting the children. They’ve also helped pay for camp and childcare.
Fisher is also fictive kin to Gabe. Her sister raised her niece — Gabe’s biological mother — but never formally adopted her, so the familial relationship isn’t recognized by the government. That means Fisher isn’t eligible for any financial support for raising Gabe. However, through
the Kinship Navigator Program she participated in support groups and Gabe had access to playgroups, which Fisher said benefitted him greatly.
"They are the only ones that really give any kind of help,” she said.
Jenna Cullinane adopted her biological nephew last year. Because he had a DCYF case, she continues to get some support, including medical coverage. (Courtesy of Jenna Cullinane)
A long road
Despite the momentum of the Kinship Navigator Program, caregivers and their allies want to see more support for these families at the state and federal level.
“I can’t emphasize enough that this state needs to step up for these children who are not in foster care,” Fisher said. “We do it because we love him with all our heart, and he is our son. [But] it feels like the state let another child down.”
Fisher recently founded a nonprofit organization, NH Grand Families, which she hopes will raise awareness and provide respite care for other kinship caregivers. Respite care, designed to give parents a short reprieve from caregiving, is available to foster parents, and Fisher said kinship caregivers need it as well.
“When you’re at our age, [your friends] don’t want to hang around someone with children because they’re ready for a break,” she said. “But we need breaks, too.”
Drennan would like to continue to expand the Kinship Navigator Program, and find more secure funding. Currently, the program is funded through 2024.
“While I have faith we’ll be funded beyond our current contract, I know it’s not a guarantee,” Drennan said.
The ideal situation would be to have the majority of children who cannot be raised by their biological parents be raised by kin — whether biological or fictive, said Ribsam. For that to be possible, the state needs more robust support for kinship placements.
“That’s our hope and goal: get to a point where we’re able to support these kinship families in an equitable way outside the DCYF system,” he said. “That’s the goal, but it’s a long road.”
This article was shared by The Granite State News Collaborative. For more information visit collaborativenh.org.