By Shamecca Brown-Granite State News Collaborative
Every July, the sky lights up. The flags are flying. The fireworks paint the night in red, white and blue. Neighbors gather around grills. Kids splash in pools. Families laugh together. For one day, America feels … different.
I remember when I used to be one of those people lighting fireworks myself. It was part of the tradition. But somewhere along the way, we stopped. These days, my children couldn’t care less about the fireworks. Give them a barbecue, a pool to jump in, good food and time with family, and they’re happy. Maybe they’ve figured out something the rest of us haven’t. Because after the fireworks are over, what happens?
The next day, it’s back to arguing online. Back to judging strangers. Back to political fights. Back to people refusing to listen. Back to treating one another with less kindness than we managed to show for just one holiday.
It makes me wonder. Is our patriotism only meant for July Fourth? Is kindness something we celebrate for a day and forget the other 364?
For instance, the other day, one of my children said something that stopped me in my tracks: “It just seems like everyone dislikes everyone.” Imagine hearing that from a child.
That’s the America they’re growing up in – a country where they notice the tension, the division and the constant negativity before they’re even old enough to understand all the reasons behind it.
After the last spark disappears
Sure, we tell our children to be kind, to include others, to respect people even when they disagree. Maybe it’s time we started taking our own advice.
Real freedom isn’t just about fireworks or waving a flag. It’s about protecting each other’s right to think differently while still treating one another with dignity. It’s OK to disagree. That’s part of democracy. It always has been. What’s not OK is believing that someone with a different opinion is automatically your enemy.
America has never been perfect. But throughout our history, we’ve moved forward because people were willing to have difficult conversations, stand up for what they believed in and recognize each other’s humanity. Today, it feels like we’ve become so focused on winning arguments that we’ve forgotten how to build relationships.
So this Fourth of July, so many of us enjoyed the fireworks once more. We enjoyed the barbecue, the jump in the pool, the laughs with our family. But when the last spark disappears from the sky, did the kindness disappear with it? Because loving this country shouldn’t stop when the fireworks fade.
Actually, maybe the most patriotic thing we can do isn’t wave a flag once a year. Maybe it’s choosing empathy on an ordinary Tuesday. Or listening before judging. Or remembering that behind every opinion is a human being.
If my children can see that “everyone dislikes everyone,” then maybe it’s time we ask ourselves a harder question: What kind of America are we leaving them?
Shamecca Brown is a New Hampshire-based columnist who is family-oriented and passionate about serving underserved communities. These articles are being shared by partners in the Granite State News Collaborative. For more information, visit collaborativenh.org.