By Shamecca Brown-Granite State News Collaborative
“You’re too old.” It’s a phrase many older adults fear hearing – not because they’re afraid of aging, but because they fear aging has made them invisible.
I recently spoke with a 75-year-old man who is fighting cancer. Despite his age, he still travels, enjoys life, and wakes up every day with the same goal many of us have: to keep living. He wants to spend more time with the people he loves, make more memories, and continue fighting for his health.
But when he asked about additional testing for possible prostate cancer, he felt his concerns were dismissed because of his age. He told me he was even willing to pay out of pocket if insurance wouldn’t cover it. To him, the decision wasn’t about money, it was about having the opportunity to fight for his life. His experience isn’t the only one that left him questioning how older adults are treated.
He told me that after his last colonoscopy, he was informed he was now too old for routine screenings and that Medicare would no longer cover them. During another visit, he said his primary care physician stopped performing the thorough annual physical he had grown accustomed to and declined to include a PSA test with his routine blood work, explaining that Medicare would not pay for it.
Whether those decisions were based on current medical guidelines, insurance policies, or clinical judgment, the message he walked away with was heartbreaking: You’re too old. That feeling matters.
Healthcare is built on evidence, and physicians have an obligation to recommend tests that are medically appropriate while avoiding procedures that may do more harm than good. Medicare also has coverage rules that influence what services are routinely paid for. But none of that changes the importance of listening to patients and explaining those decisions with compassion and respect.
Growing older should never mean becoming voiceless.
The stories don’t stop at healthcare.
The man also shared the experience of a friend in her 80s who was pulled over after rolling through a stop sign. What might have been a warning or a routine traffic ticket, he said, instead resulted in her driver’s license being taken away. She ultimately hired an attorney and was able to get her license reinstated.
Every situation has facts we may not know. There may have been legal or medical reasons behind that decision. But together, these experiences raise a larger question that deserves discussion.
At what point does age begin to shape the way people are treated, not because of what they can or cannot do, but because of assumptions made about what they should no longer be allowed to do?
Older adults are not statistics. They are parents, grandparents, veterans, neighbors, mentors, taxpayers and survivors. Many continue to contribute to their communities every single day. They deserve healthcare that respects their goals, honest conversations about risks and benefits, and the dignity of being active participants in decisions about their own lives.
This isn’t an argument that every test should be performed or every citation should be dismissed. It’s an argument for respect.
The question isn’t whether someone is 75, 85, or 95. The question is whether we’re still listening when they tell us they want to keep living, and living well.
Shamecca Brown is a New Hampshire-based columnist who is family-oriented and passionate about serving underserved communities. These articles are being shared by partners in the Granite State News Collaborative. For more information, visit collaborativenh.org.